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Tom's Poetry

Christmas Haiku

I'm a Nutrasweet Experiment

I can vouch that 10 yrs of Diet Coke
have no [apparent] adverse effects
though a craving for cola still hangs over me like a parasite
10 yrs of on-and-off MSG will not burn off yr tongue
nor will citric acid
or 3 cans a day of liquid caffeine

but I can say that 3 slugs a day of pure sugar juice
would have been 10 lbs a year
and a decade of that means 100 lbs of flab
[which is more than I need]
and I can thank my brother for making that keen observation

I taught myself to love Nutrasweet which
[nobody can tell me different]
will never quite be like sugar
but which you can take morning, noon, & night
to smooth the flood of caffeine into yr system
which will likewise
keep you regular, stir awareness, and
[once addicted] calm the anxious nerves
and help you sleep at night

a hundred rats may reek of aspartame cancer
in some awful lab test gone awry
but I'm part of a vast field experiment of the whole human race
part of a large cross-sample of [self-inoculating] specimens
on volunteer duty to save mankind
and I have to say, I'm feeling fine

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(C) 1/24/97 Tom Brinck