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Holding Back the Words

It�s a question of integrity, really
not to act
when you want to
when the need builds up to an urgency
not to say it
because it�s not quite right, not now,
and not to say anything, really

because each word builds the fence
till you find that you�re fenced in
and every word after that
only closes in tighter
cornered,
you�re trapped into a destiny of doing,
of saying, of admitting

though there�s a proper time
for even this
once when I knew I couldn�t, wouldn�t act
I confessed only that I was afraid
and in that word, a trap,
a trap I laid for myself
because in response was the question �why?�
and caught in a corner
by my own honesty
I had to tell the truth

but now�s not such a time
while she turns colons into smiles
I must be still
and even though I trust myself
that�s not the point
it�s not a matter of how good I am
or else integrity would be only for the weak
and virtue for the bad
and words would lose their power

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(C) 10/8/94 Tom Brinck


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